Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Happy's, Flappy, Mr. Sits, and Other Things I've Named.


So, at any given point of any day, there are a million things going on on our Soi (street). There are carts with vegetables, various meats on sticks, fried bananas, ice cream, coffee, and many other things. There aren't really sidewalks, and if there are, there are carts and businesses that take up the whole road. So, road and sidewalk are the same thing. Which makes for very eventful walks, with people, bikes, cars, and motorbikes all sharing a very small space. The walk to school takes like ten minutes, and to go anywhere else we have to walk another five minutes beyond the school. So, we spend a lot of time walking by the same things multiple times a day. Because of this, I have, with help from Nick, named several of the best/worst things.

A very common conversation had with Thai people (and other teachers at school) consists of them asking if I've eaten lunch. It's the Thai version of small talk. Anyway, when answering the question you either say "rice" or "noodles." There is a noodle place and a rice place pretty much right next to the school. I've only been to the noodle place once--it's good, I just forget about it. But I eat at the rice place pretty much every day. The guy who owns it is super nice, and the food is amazingly good. We really like him and his large plates of food, so we started calling him Happy. Happy knows what I like, so I barely have to order before he completes my sentence. It's awesome. The portions are huge, and I think the most I have spent there is 30baht, or a little less than one dollar. So that makes it even better. Anyway, Nick and I always refer to the place as "Happy's," and I forget that other people don't call it that. Which is fun. So, that's Happy's.

There are fifty billion street dogs that are all over the soi. They come out more at night, but there are still a lot of them out during the day. I like some of them, but a lot of them I hate. They just kinda creep me out a little. One night I had a puppy follow me home from 7/11, and that was awesome. But the other day I had like four circle me, and it was terrifying. Anyway, there are probably like 15 dogs that I see every day. I say hi to some of them. There are two in particular who have gotten names. Nick named one before I came, and I came up with the other one. The first one is Flappy. Ohhhhhhh, Flappy. It's not that I don't like Flappy, but she makes me feel a little dead inside every time I see her. I'm not sure how old she is, but she looks pretty old. Her lady parts have huge tumors and just kinda hang off of her (hence the name), and it's gross. Her hair/fur is gone and it's discolored skin. Also gross. She's blind, and about a month ago her leg broke so she can't walk. Disgusting. The only Thai I want to learn is, "I will pay you 3000 baht to run over that dog," so I can ask a taxi driver to "take care of it." Effing sick. Next up on the disgusting tour of the soi is Meat Grinder. Meat Grinder is also female, and has "been around the block" one two many times. Her insides are on the outside. Thus, it looks like she's been through a meat grinder. I realize this is an unpleasant blog topic, but I'm okay with it. Those are the dogs. Wah.

Mr. Sits is one of my favorite soi sightings. Mr. Sits is only around at night. He sits (every night, I think) on this little ledge outside of someone's house. He wears the same blue shorts, green flip flops, and no shirt every day. He always has his right leg crossed over the left and never has a shoe on his right foot. He just sits and looks around, his cane/walking stick resting next to him. I really like him. I'm not sure what he does during the day. I've never seen him not on the ledge. He's way more pleasant than the stupid dogs. I always want to sit with him. But I don't.

Coffee Lady is a woman who owns this little coffee stand by school. I kind of love her. I go there pretty much every day, so now I don't have to order anymore. She always says, "Good morning teacher. Same thing?" It's awesome. It takes her about five hours to make a drink, but it's worth it. And she speaks English. HUGE.

I forgot to mention the dead frogs. I don't have much to say about them. They're just everywhere. Crack my shit up. There was a dead mouse the other day. I saw a cat staring at it. The next morning it was gone. Hmmmm...

Well those are the best [and disgustingly worst] parts of the soi. I love it.

ps, a motorbike driver made me wear a helmet the other day. DISGUSTING.